Reader Email: Who The Fuck Turns Down A Nintendo 64?
Reader Email:
Hey Jenna,
Ok so here is my deal! I am running the Boston Marathon as a member of the Children’s Hospital Miles for Miracles charity team. I need to raise $4,000-if I don’t raise the money-I have to pay it myself-which I can’t do considering I am a broke ass grad student who spends any money I have on beers and clothes. To raise some money I am throwing a fundraising party/drunken event on January *** at the **************. I am going to have a raffle-but in order to get my drunk friends to spend a lot of money-I need good raffle prizes. Any way you could help out with this?? Any suggestions on how to get some good raffle items?
Thanks!
My Response:
hahah i have no clue how to help you. i think i have a nintendo 64 lying around? thats about it.
Reader Response:
haha uhhh no thanks-all set with that nintendo 64.
Am I taking crazy pills? Who the fuck turns down a Nintendo 64? I don’t know this person, I have no idea what they were expecting me to say to that email. ”Oh yeah, let me throw your party and blog the shit out of it and toss in some tickets to Cancun to help you raise money for the marathon.” Hell no. It’s your own damn fault for signing up for that running garbage, I mean yeah it’s a cool thing to check off your bucket list but you’re the one who signed up to piss and shit your pants and feel like your dying for the next 4 hours or so, not me. Sounds fanfuckingtastic, hope you have a great time. I’ll watch from the sidelines like the rest of Boston when we get the day off and get hammerdrunk and yell obscenities at you for being an idiot. Fuck that noise. It’s not my problem you bit off more than you could chew with raising 4k in the next 3 months and you’re looking to me to help you. Even when I offer you probably the sickest prize ever you tell me you’re “all set.” Bitch! I’ve been holding onto that thing brainstorming for months for the perfect way I could put it on the blog and give it away as a prize. And here I am being the selfless do-gooder that I am trying to help a sista out with a raffle prize and you’re all fucking set. Whatever, that’s the last time I try to help anybody. Now I’m never going to give it away.
P.S. Have fun getting your ass whipped by the Kenyans. I hope one of them takes a running shit in your face.
33 Responses to Reader Email: Who The Fuck Turns Down A Nintendo 64?
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Jenna, in the words of The Situation: “Sharing is for Caring”. At least you offered the guy a tit prize. He probably just doesnt want it because he has bad memories of getting rocked in Mario Kart by guys like me.
How can you turn down the system that totes GoldenEye. Seriously, where’s the crazy pills that’s guys on?
I hope the guy who emailed you shits himself like so many marathon runners I read about. P.S. I love the 64, lost my virginity and sniping dudes on Golden Eye 007.
Nintendo 64 was the shit!! Still got mine, and my kids still play on it. Wanna donate some games to me Jenna!!
Uta Pipig with the poop running down her leg is my lasting Boston Marathon image. He called the shit poop!
I actually turned on my old N64 last month to play 007 for the hell of it and couldnt play it. The graphics suck so badly you wonder how the hell did you play this shit for hrs on end. When you play 360 or PS3 you cant go back to N64. You just cant. Either go back to 2D games like in NES or nothing.
What the snatch? Jenna, give it to me. I will give you $5 and a lapdance. I’m pretty sure I have all the cords for the N64.. but no N64. The fuck? I just want to play Mario Party and get a sick blister on the palm of my hand from that annoying joystick. Gimme!
Zelda 64 was the shit on it too, god i miss it, Jenna can i have it? Maybe you can wrap yourself up a red bow and deliver it to me, note, i just want you with the red bow on, oh yeah need a second controller too, let me know
Wow Jenna, you could have at least offered to raffle yourself off at her party. Isn’t that part of your job as a blogger? I mean, this person is running a marathon for children! We all know how much you love children, especially babies.
Jenna, I’ll take the N64. No worries. But, to make it fair, you should host a fucking GoldenEye tournament somewhere, get people to sign up and what not. Winner takes the N64 and all the glory.
Jenna here’s an idea for a Barstool Party Series, and when you implement this I want full credit, a date with you, and free drinks.
Call it Throwback Tuesdays or Thursdays. Get a place like Game On! or Ned Devines or whoever is sucking off El Pres that week, and bring in a bunch of old game systems on big screen TV’s. We’re talking Atari, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, N64, Sega, etc. and have people come to play these game systems and all the awesome games that you could play on them. Have a rent list like they do with pool tables at bars, drink deals, blah blah blah. I’d go just to play all the old games. You could have tournaments and shit, would be the balls for the college crowd.
I’d do it for a signed pic of Jenna and Kym being hammerdrunk.
not gunna lie, N64 is just about the only game system i can boss anyone in. i’d donkey kong the shit out of any of you….i’m lookin at you, black dude.
OK why the hell would a broke ass student sign up for something he had to pay $4000 to do? I mean sure good intentions, blah blah blah, but seriously, if you have to basically prostitute yourself to Jenna’s Blog for ideas how much good are you really capable of?
Hey TTJ, where you been!? I feel like I havent seen you around these parts in a while, welcome back!
I was actually pretty sick in Donkey Kong you racist fuck, not only will i smash in the game, but ill grab a real barrel and smash it over your head, i dont think bananas will be coming out of them
Al, i would agree that your idea is good, except for the fact that today’s college kids weren’t even born when NES and Super NES came out. Not sure how excited they’d be.
I was hoping if I took a Lala Vacation I’d come back and it would suck less. Jury’s still out
last blizzard we had I found out you can download all of the amazing nintendo games (and even some sega) we used to play back in the day. I am now the proud owner of sonic the hedgehog, super mario 3, donkey kong country AND toe jam and earl.
Al Czervik I challenge you to a Mario Kart duel, online match lets do it, oh wait…..
PS Nobody is fucking with me if I’ve got the Princess
god damnit what a lame post
PIIHB I rock Kart on the Wii now, you too?
Jules yea that may be true, I’m 26 and I’d go to a bar to play those old video game systems, not sure if 21 yr olds would though. But then again I’m a dork so what do I know!
I ordered a used N64 on amazon a couple months ago, could not wait for it to arrive. Once it did I ran to my room tore it open like christmas morning and plugged it in. I was soo excited. Then I turned it on and…nothing. No joke I’ve never been more disappointed, my future son could turn out to be gay or even worse, a daughter, and it would still be a distant second for most disappointing moment in my life.
Fuck a lame ass wii, I roll with a real system, 360. I’m jk though I do want a wii just for that and all the old mario games. PS I’m a dork if you couldn’t tell haha
You mean Pong isn’t the most recent technology? I will pout in the corner now while listening to my 8-tracks, maybe watch a Beta-Max.
haha yea the Wii’s graphics arent great, but I’ve always been a Nintendo guy. Kinda like Coke or Pepsi, I’m brand loyal. I rock the old Nintendo games like its my job.
Haha I’m brand loyal to Jenna, fuck Kymmy and Abby, shits weak
We seem to be two peas in a pod then.
PIIHB , abby doenst work here anymore, trying to get Jenna to hire me to do blogs/wash her dogs
Al Czervik: indeed we are wanna smush haha
Blackdude: Your comments are always pretty funny theres only one problem, you’re black. Haha jk I’m only a little bit racist, but for serious you’re always on COTD and I’m gunning for ya, got my first honerable mention yesterday so suck it
What is up with the lame ass emailer above who comitted to $4k without being able to pay for it? See? It’s guys like him that made Prostitutes take your money upfront.
Yeah like BlackDude could afford a 64! HA! Maybe after a B&E.
SEGA Genesis bitches! Joe Montana Talk Footbal was the Old School joint – maybe 2nd only to NBA Jams.
I’ll take the 64, fuck..I think I still have Banjo Kazooey in a box somewhere.