So after I posted my original blog about Turtle Calls, I realized that never have I had such an internet obsession since Spike himself came out with his original “Floor Moves.” You all remember how epic that was. Well Turtle Calls guy, Brian Spaeth is pretty epic. I actually received a Cheadle Call yesterday and almost pissed my pants, it was more exhilarating that riding a donkey on a roller coaster on a unicorn with a handful of lollipops and butterflies. Just the most magical thing that has ever happened to me no doubt. But here I am being selfish and keeping all of the Brian Spaeth hilarity to myself instead of sharing it which I apologize for. Selfishness is something I learned from Kermit. Thing just does whatever the fuck he wants and seems to work out okay. But back to the point, I’m about to buy his books on the Nook App for my phone just so the genius behind Turtle Calls can fully infiltrate my life outside of my computer, that’s how bad I have it right now. I just can’t get enough. If there were a surgeon out there that could take Brain Spaeth’s mind and put it in Spike’s sexy body with those killer dance moves minus the purity ring, I could die today knowing who the most perfect human being was. If Turtle Calls doesn’t become a multi-million dollar business by the end of the year then I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Like if this doesn’t absolutely break the web Justin Bieberphiles style, then the internet really is just for porn.

Oh and he tweeted me too so you can start crying out of jealousy right about now.

Oh and the red Teletubbie from the Bernie video emailed me the other day. Fuckin famous people emails out the ass right now.

From his blog:


Close Up:

And at the very bottom of the page:

If you click on “my cousin’s tattoo of the great lakes” you get this: